risky but it's worth to do so..

How many people that read this have felt TRUE LOVE? A love that completely surrounds you like a blanket? Tell me- when you close your eyes can you picture a perfect moment with them? Can you smell their scent and feel contentment? Can you feel there hand hold yours at the mere thought of it? I can every single time I wish.

Before I go to far, I have said some hurtful things, that I regret. If she does not return to me, then that is her choice. But she swears that she shall, that I should trust her, and I will. Wholeheartedly. I have too. I have second guessed her since the moment she went out with her friends and left me alone. If I do not show faith in her, then what good is anything I have done? I showed no faith in her on numerous occasions, and that is one of my faults, and I know has to do with her distancing herself from me at times.

Part of the problems we have endured are many. Including family members( on my sides), have conspired to keep us apart. That is too long to get into how and why, and I think will remain private.Their treachery will be dealt with in time whether she returns or not. I know that her being gone has not diminished my love for her, and has in fact grown by leaps and bounds.

Will she come back and be my baby? I must believe she will. I have to. Because if I don't have faith in her, then I don't love her. But I do love her, so I will show full confidence in her. For those of you that are young (god saying that makes me feel old), and in the beginning stages where it's all happy happy, just wait until pain becomes involved. Then look into her or his eyes and see how committed you are. Love is not just bliss, and great sex, and huge smiles. The greater part of love is when your apart, or tragedy happens, when things are not so great, then see how committed you are. When you feel like your having a heart attack, when you cry relentlessly, when you just want to throw your hands up and say fuck it all, maybe even say it, when you suffer, but you stay instead. I grew up in a no dad family- My dad passed away when i was 4 years old and i grew up with 7sisters and my mom. I'm used to it.

As long as she has love in her heart for me, then I cannot and will not abandon her. EVER. Am I a fool? Am I blinded by love? Am I a hopeless romantic dreamer? Perhaps. Time will tell. But I think it's worth to do so...